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Death isn’t something that happens to you but to everyone around you

Reflections on Life and Death


The very first time I heard this one it took me quite a while to truly get the meaning behind it, or at the very least to get a coherent interpretation of it. On the surface it seems to lack meaning because “obviously” if YOU die then YOU are the one that actually ceases to exist, however what I understood below a couple of layers of obviousness is that death isn’t actually experienced by the person who passes, rather it is felt, dwelled and processed by the people left on the earthly plane.


Over time, I’ve reflected on this more than once and often I’ve encountered something new. The more time I devout to it the deeper it goes, sometimes to strange lands, like when I ended up calling us selfish self absorbed individuals (and we can be from time to time)  that weep and cry only because we “lost” certain incentives  that we used to receive from the one who’s no longer “here”. Of course this is a mistake and I’m bound to be wrong because of a wide variety of reasons beginning by mistakenly generalizing such a delicate topic. The whole point was to highlight an example of the many ways this pondering has taken me to.


On a more sensitive and emotionally intelligent perspective I do believe that the phrase holds a certain truth to it, partially because we don’t know what happens on the other side of the threshold; “if” something indeed does happen and while we remain in this state of not knowing we must continue with our everyday endeavors with a felt sense of a heavy burden (of course this varies from individual to individual and the uniqueness of each situation), and yet we can all relate to a certain degree.


This takes me to my own understanding and personal notion of Death and what does it mean to me, how I relate to it and what beliefs I hold about it.

It is interesting  because by acknowledging my ignorance I’m kind of thrown into a neutral state of acceptance and trust, to what specifically I couldn’t say. As I travel through life I’m less and less certain about everything, anything  and as counterintuitive as this might seem I feel a kind of “ease” about it all. Maybe highlighted by the fact that there’s no way around it, Death; the great inevitable one.


This is one of the subjects to describe at great length but for the time being I’ll stop here. As someone very dear to me once told me “If your love is honey, don’t savor it all at once”


Love, Milan P.